I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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