Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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