just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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