just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
