And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
