This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize