White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
