Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
