I think i peed on brittanys purse
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
