I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
