Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i think im in europe. pls send help
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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