ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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