So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
