I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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