I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We were destined to go to rehab together
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
