Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
