That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize