I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
