Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
