also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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