Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
