Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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