I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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