I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
