wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
