A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
