yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
