This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
