um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Ketchup is God's man juice
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
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