yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
