I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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