Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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