There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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