I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
