butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
