what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sex in the backyard? Check.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
