apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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