no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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