This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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