Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
