careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
