Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
