I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you inspire me to be a worse person
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
