try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
