All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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