gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
