It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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