I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
