quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
