I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The dick lei will go down in squad history
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
