My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
