get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
