He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
why didn't you poke me back
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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