Non-Jews are for practice
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize