OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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