He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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