shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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