im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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