census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
