You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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