dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
