I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
