awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize