I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize