Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
ttyl tear gas
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
